i love crying because tears cleanse the soul... they make my face salty but make me feel so much better.

rio de janeiro - beautiful copacabana.
caracas - modernity... the place where i left my heart.
mexico city - big, bustling, historic city
nicaragua - poor
toronto - my new home!

a friend giving me his jacket on a windy night. a friend hand-washing my clothes for me. my sister surprising me with matching t-shirts for the two of us. a boy sending me packages on my birthday, christmas, and valentines day. my boss giving me a huge cookie cake for my birthday. a friend calling me every night to see how my day was. my mommy waking up early to make me breakfast. a restaurant manager giving me a gift card to return for another meal. a friend offering me his bed so i wouldn't have to sleep in his cold basement. a customer giving me a $5 tip for wrapping his purchase beautifully.

We met in 1st grade and liked each other on and off for years, but always at the wrong time. I had liked his best friend and he had liked my best friend. In 8th grade we finally became best friends and spent every minute of every day together. In 10th grade after 10 years of waiting, the timing seemed perfect - he was crushing on me and I was crushing on him. But I was moving away at the end of the year and I didn't want to be heartbroken so in the end I said no...

i only remember one thing from kindergarten.
we were each given a special piece of paper and were told to draw whatever we liked on it. i only knew how to draw flowers and a sun, so that's what i drew. then we gave our papers to the teacher and a few weeks later we each got a plate with our drawing on it. if only i knew where i could do this again so i could make another one today. but i still have this plate and it reminds me of this one memory from kindergarten.

the most awkward dance i ever had to endure was with a guy that was shorter than me. he was one of my best friends, and my date for the night, but it felt very weird. it sounds silly, but it really does feel awkward for a tall chinese girl. then right after i got to dance with the guy i'd been waiting to dance with the whole night, my childhood best friend. he was much taller and the guy i always thought would be my perfect date.

Actually, everything good happens after 2 am... people's most intimate secrets and deepest desires are revealed after 2. At sleepovers there's dinner, baking, movies, and chit-chat before that time, but it's after that the good stuff comes out. I love staying up real late during sleepovers to wait for people to get groggy and disoriented so I can ask them about their secrets - secrets they would never reveal in normal circumstances. But when it's late, and dark, and few people are still in their right minds, secrets are whispered and new things are learned. I've learned the most about my friends after 2 am when they share their stories with me... this is my favorite part of every sleepover.

But with one friend, 2 am is like 2 pm. We start talking and sharing secrets way before 2 am and finish talking much later. We can talk for hours and hours on end, and the time never seems to affect us... with this person I don't have to wait until 2 am.

On the street where I lived, or in the building where I lived, almost all the families were Jewish. We were the only Christian family, and definitely the only Chinese family. It was no fun because those Jewish kids were snobby and stuck-up. The only kids we ever played with were our neighbors, two little American boys.

They were such a nice family! Every holiday they would host parties and invite us to them even though were were much too old for these parties. We had Halloween parties, Easter parties, Valentine's day parties, St. Patrick's day parties, all types of parties!

Those were the good old days...

I never got to really know my grandparents until now because I lived a million miles away in another country. But what I did know was that they were kind and they would spoil me and my siblings every time we went to visit them. The time we spent together, though, was always so short that I only knew a few things about them.

Eight years ago my grandpa died of prostate cancer. It was shocking and very unexpected, yet I wasn't sure how to respond... at his funeral I realized that I would never see him again and I'd never have the chance to get to know him better. That was the saddest part about his death, my time with him was over.

Since his death I've tried to treasure every single moment with my other grandparents, but it wasn't until this past Christmas that it finally hit me how great grandparents really are. They are old and so wise, and I really don't have that much time with them... life is fragile and my precious moments with them could be over at any time.