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It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this
My first kiss happened late in life. I had been avoiding any intimacy with boys all of my life. Finally when I was 18 I decided it had been long enough and I should get this phase over with. This older boy who for some reason was interested in me took me out on a date. Actually, my first date. I thought he was so cool. He was a Go-Fast rep. and was sponsored by this company for mountain boarding or something. I had no idea what he saw in me. I still had braces on, no experience, and was more shy than a mouse.
At the end of the date, it became that time for the 'good evening kiss'. I was so nervous, but thought now or never.
I'd have to say that was the weirdest 'relationship'. I spent a few nights at his place which happened to be a scudsy hotel where a boa constrictor was loose. I found out he only had one leg. He was just using me to get back at his x-girlfriend, even though I'm not jealous making material. He wasn't sponsored by Go-Fast. Actually everything about him was a lie And one day he stopped returning my calls. Go-Figure
5
Love at first sight
It was midnight and we had just left a farewell party. We crossed the street and headed into a greek restaurant to grab a midnight snack. We sat down across from each other, in a private booth. The excitement of being invited to a party by and older guy was still running strong. And now, we were together, alone.
But, his phone rang.
He excused himself and took the call in his seat. I smiled but quickly turned away pretending to look off in the distance. He paused, there was silence. Slight, vague chattering on the other end of his phone. I glanced in his direction, and he was still holding it to his ear. He looked back at me, smiled. My eyes were still on him, his still on mine.
This sight of love, caused the world to stop. It felt like we had left the world and the existence of anything else had simply abolished.
What seemed like minutes, passed as seconds.
Looking away, shy, he was back in his conversation, I was back to admiring the paintings on the wall...
Our eyes met and our hearts touched. We both knew it.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this
I was 21 years old. It's not like I was waiting for the perfect partner, place, or situation. It just didn't happen until then. Maybe I wasn't the kissing type. At the time, I thought I was just unlucky. In hindsight, and in consideration of all the complications that I've found come along with kisses, maybe I was actually more fortunate than most.
He was supposedly my friend. His cousin was my best friend and soulmate. The three of us, and our four other friends were inseparable that summer. That whole, cliche, "us against the world" thing, that runs so rampant through young adult novels and made for t.v. movies? That was us. We ranged in age from 17 to 22, in education from high school students to near college graduates, but something bound us together. Something made us different from everyone else working at camp that summer. In the beginning, we told ourselves and everyone who would listen it was the cigarettes we had to sneak off the camp grounds to smoke. As the days (which felt something like weeks) and the weeks (which passed more quickly than days) flew by, it became apparent that there was more to us than the Marlboro Menthol Lights, or Parliament Lights, as the case may have been. I still don't know what drew us together- but I digress.
One night, after hours spent on a dirt road talking about everything that mattered and nothing important, Billy and I found ourselves the last two awake. It was probably four o'clock in the morning when Billy suggested a sleepover. I have no idea if he had intentions other than listening to annoying whiny music and giggling together for the few hours until the sun came up but I, for one, did not.
There was whiny music and giggling, but the conversation took a turn and before I knew what was going on we were making out. My first kiss did not end there and after the damage was done we set my alarm clock to go off in an hour and a half so he could sneak back to his room before anyone else was up.
The next day was awkward, to say the least, and I found myself unable to talk to this boy, who was supposed to be one of my best friends. I confessed what had happened to his cousin, the kindred spirit, and after that things returned to normal. It should be noted that by normal, I actually mean that Billy and I continued to fool around all summer. And everytime he came to visit me at school that year. Before moving back to camp that summer, we decided to stop and be friends again. Friends without benefits.
We tried that for about one day and then commenced sleeping together again. After another summer and the following months, we decided to call a truce again. This time it stuck. We don't talk anymore, but honestly I think that has very little to do with what began with my first kiss. Maybe it's because I was probably in love with his cousin the whole time. Maybe it's because we were children and have since grown up. Maybe it's because what happens over the summer isn't supposed to count. Or maybe, it's because kissing is complicated.
There have been boyfriends and not boyfriends since my first kiss and if I've learned anything, it's that while kissing will always be fun, it does not get any easier.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this
We moved fast. Way too fast. I really believe this is why, at least partly, it didn't work out. It started out with a kiss, first date. I could tell right away he hadn't kissed many girls before, otherwise he would not have approached the kiss the way he had: arm akwardly around my shoulders, standing on the corner of my street, him asking me before he made the move whether it would be okay if he kissed me. That's fine, I said, expecting a short peck. After what seemed like at least five minutes, he pulled away from me with this HUGE grin on his face - he had liked the kiss. I had surprisingly liked it too. I say surprisingly because it was not like me to kiss like that on a first date. He was like this little school boy, excited to be holding a girl's (his girl's) hand. But I on the other hand was a little more cautious, and spent the rest of the walk home trying to figure out how much I actually liked this guy.
It was like this for our entire relationship, him holding my hand proudly and me... me always hanging back a bit, never sure that he was what I wanted. But why? Can we really be that choosy in life with who we give our heart to and who we don't? What was so wrong with this guy who had such a zest for life and was so excited to be in this relationship, that my feelings just couldn't match his? I don't know if I'll ever figure that out, or why exactly I ended it with him that one evening, that one evening where I totally blindsided him with my declaration that "I think it's best we break up". "Why? Do you think you'll ever find someone who will love you more than I do?"
No. I don't.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this
He had been hitting on me over the internet (in part of a little group, so everyone could see it) as a joke for quite some time. It was actually pretty funny because he's the last person you'd expect to hit on anyone (because of his adorable shyness), but then his remarks became less and less sleazy, and more and more adorably sweet.
We were all at a Halloween party when we were playing truth or dare. He chose truth. My friend asked him if he had ever actually liked me. He wouldn't answer, so he chose dare instead. The same friend dared him to kiss me. He made everyone leave, and then he was still being really shy, so I just went and kissed him.
Then the same friend dared me to kiss him, so I did.
Turns out, he was practically in love with me. He wanted so much to ask me out, but he was too nervous and shy. He poured his heart out in emails to the same friend that dared us to kiss, and she eventually had to ask me out for him. I sent him a definite YES, and then the friend sent me the sequence of emails that he had sent her. Those messages are just about the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
The strangest thing about this is that I've always been the "just friends" friend. To see exactly how this boy feels about me was beyond explanation.
Portrait of a grandparent
My paternal grandfather was born in Canton, China in 1918. They didn't have formal birth certificates then and many men exaggerated their age to work, so it's the best guess at a birth year. He lived most of his 88 years of life in Hong Kong, spending several months here and there with my family in Canada and on one occasion Leeds, England.
Christmas Day 1941, World War 2: Japan had invaded Hong Kong and established rule of the (then) country. At the time my grandfather was still single in his 20's. Food was scarce during the war due to hyperinflation and food rationing on Hong Kong Island where the Japanese had stationed themselves.
One day, my grandfather took a hired boat with some others to the mainland with the goal of smuggling powdered milk back for his family. On his return to HK Island, the Japanese caught him and threw him into a concentration camp.
He never spoke much about what happened in the camp. He has only told us that his family owned a business and was able to pay money for his general well being in the camp -- however, it was a concentration camp after all, so one can only imagine how marginally better he was treated. Maybe it's better to say, that he wasn't ill treated, as in tortured. Those that were not as lucky financially were often tortured, water-boarding being the main form, and beaten.
In total, he spent a few months during the war in confinement before he was released. The mental trauma and scars of his time there, however, lasted until his passing in 2006.
The happiest place on earth
Sitting next to you on that precious mountain, laying side by side, inches apart, oblivious to everyone else. There was pure love there, but I didn't say a word. But I have to. I Love You.
Driving on the Stairs
I remember I loved (pretend) driving while sitting on the stairs at home. And right beside me was my passenger, my father.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this
When I kissed him, it never occurred to me that he was gay. A year later, I couldn't understand how I could be so blind. I don't count it as *my* first kiss, because he didn't kiss me. MY first kiss turned out to be, in the long run, one of the biggest disappointments in my life. I wonder how many first kisses have lead to that?
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this
My first kiss happened in the back yard on our wooden swing. I remember thinking how nice the scene was. The trees were full with dark green leaves of summer, the street lamp bathed us in a nice warm glow. I was 14 or 15 and he had wild curly hair and an unexplainable attraction to me. It was quick and exciting. The sad thing is I can't even remember his name anymore...
