My grandfather died 3 years ago. After I found out I closed the room of my door and sat in my chair and began crying. I know he's in a happier place now.

I put on a stripshow for my girlfriend on webcam once. She got so turned on by it.

My first time drinking was at 18. We were sitting in an empty bedroom of a friend's house, in the dark, in a circle, passing around a bottle or two of Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Sitting next to you on that precious mountain, laying side by side, inches apart, oblivious to everyone else. There was pure love there, but I didn't say a word. But I have to. I Love You.

I was brutally attacked, in a blow up slide, by friends, boyfriend watching, friends standing a few feet away, parents on a deck, yet I was attacked, practically raped, and will never be the same, I miss who I was. I miss trusting my friends.

The happiest place on earth...

at home with the family... especially on Christmas day

My dreams terrify me, epically the one where I help people kill me, but they still are dreams to me, not nightmares, which may be the scariest part...

The best place to cry is the shower.

My timing is never right.

May 3rd, 2008: I didn't cry until about 20 minutes after I got the news.

I always almost cry or cry when I think I did something wrong, made someone mad or just feel guilty... even if it's not that big of a deal. Maybe this is due to my upbringing; not being a rebel has its heartaches too.

I've drank.
I've been drunk.
I still drink.

But it all seems so passé to me now.